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Liam's poster he made me for my birthday. So You Think You Can Dance! The boy knows my heart.

Well, the time has come. I have hit the end of a decade. My last year in my twenties. Really where has the time gone? In so many ways I still feel like I'm that same ol' teenager back in high school. Sometimes I even try to relive some of those "moments" and realize that my body is not the same.

Sadness.

What happened?

Some how I weigh more but never seemed to see any of that poundage creep up on me. My weight is distrubuted so differently than my "younger" days.

Depressing.

I won't lie, I spent most of my day at a swim meet sitting in the rain.

I'm a mom.

A proud one.

It's what we do.

Yet, I couldn't wait to get home just to see if certain "someones" had called.

Nope.

My expectations were high this year for some reason. But when your birthday is on a Saturday maybe the odds are against you.

Nothing by email, phone or facebook. Seriously?

Finally, one response out of 6 possibilities.

He redeemed himself.

Thank you John.

Brian, my most dependant brother, finally squeezed in an email. Unfortunately, I had already gone to bed and didn't get it til the next day.

Does it count?

I shouldn't be ungrateful, so I'll take it.

Maybe I should step it up as a sister. What goes around comes around.

I did hear from sisters-in-law, who I love, but sometimes it's just not the same.

High maintenance, I know, right?

I need to get over it!

I did.

I realized I have 3 kids now with one on the way before I've even hit thirty.

Accomplishment?

Maybe in some peoples' book for me just. . .

Happiness.

The boys were so excited for my big day. Hyrum sang to me a hundred times. Tipton was very excited about Daddy's secret and Liam had made me one super-dooper card 4 days in advance that he couldn't wait to give to me.

I like surprises.

Not to mention cream-cheese pie.

It's gone, already.

And I wonder about my weight?

I'm older.

So what.

Some of the smartest people I know and love are older than me.

I feel I've got something to look forward to.

How's that song go. . .one year older and wiser too. . .

I won't push it.

I've got a long way to go but I can honestly say this is not where I pictured myself at this age. I did a 180 in my path of dreams but realized that this dream was more important. Dreams come in all kinds of packages. Honestly, the things I've learned since my time being married my desire to dance would have never given me or even my declared major, that's still hangin' by a thread. Only the life I have lived so far would have opened the doors that have been opened and enlightened me on who I really AM.

I'm so much like my mom.

I'm even a lot like my dad.

And the things I truly loved as a child, left me in my persuasive years, are the things that I really still love today.

Who would have thought?

I like to look back and think about all the little things that were important to me as a child. Like why I for some reason loved the story of Margaret Mead and stored that book away in my keepsakes forever. Just little things like that were giving me a direction of what I really was, yet I continued to get older and insist on choosing other ways. And here I am still loving Margaret Mead just now I know I why her story always resignated within me.

I'm learning to pay attention.

I guess when I start to feel old I will be old. Right now I just feel full of life that I didn't have 10 years ago.

Happy Birthday to myself. I am grateful for another day. Another year. It is a blessing.